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Blake Shelton Is This Year's Sexiest Man Alive: 'I Can't Wait to Shove This Up Adam's A—!'

Country superstar Blake Shelton might have made a name for himself as a coach on NBC’s hit series, The Voice, but he’s got another title now: 2017’s Sexiest Man Alive!

So what went through his mind when he first heard the news? “That y’all must be running out of people,” he tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story. “Like, Wow, we’re down to somebody who is somewhat symmetrical.”

All kidding aside, Shelton, 41, credits his girlfriend of two yearsGwen Stefani, for convincing him to embrace the crown. “She goes, ‘Listen to me, you’re going to regret this for the rest of your life if you don’t take this gift and just live in the moment,” Shelton says of his “You Make It Feel Like Christmas” duet partner.

But a bigger incentive for the singer was being able to stick it to his fellow coach (and 2013 Sexiest Man AliveAdam Levine. “I can’t wait to shove this up Adam’s ass,” Shelton adds. “As proud as I am and honored that you guys asked me, that’s really the only thing I care about.”

Despite being a heartthrob with a fan base of millions, the 6’5″ Oklahoma-bred Shelton — whose latest album, Texoma Shore, hit No. 1 on the Billboard Top Country Albums this week— insists he had a few awkward phases while growing up. “I think to describe myself as a child, one word comes to mind. And that’s fat,” he says. “People say I haven’t changed since before I made it. And I’m still fat today. That’s proof!”

Shelton does try to stay in shape by exercising on the treadmill and eating as healthy as possible, though all bets are off when he’s home in Tishomingo, Oklahoma. “It could be 2 o’clock in the afternoon before I eat and then I realize I’m starving, so then it’s a bag of Cheetos,” he says. “And there’s a Sonic in town, they got jalapeno poppers. And then I’m not hungry again until 10 o’clock, well what’s in there? Fishsticks. And like a big pickle, those pickles that come in its own package with juice? It is really bad.”

Even with his weakness over food (he calls his love for chips and dips “a problem”), Shelton says his new title is “like a confirmation” that he’ll enjoy for the rest of his life.

“It’s going to be used in every conversation, whether it’s at The Voice, or at the feed in Tishomingo, Oklahoma, or in a conversation with a doctor,” he says. “When [people] would say to Adam, ‘Mr. Sexy,’ you’d always see him go, ‘Well, awwww…’ If you say that to me, it’s going to be, ‘You’re damn right, I’m Mr. Sexy! I’ve been ugly my whole life, if I can be sexy for a year, I’m taking it. I’m taking it.”

Gwen Stefani's Sons Helped Blake Shelton Discover His Dad Instincts: 'It's Easy to Fall in Love with Those Kids'

It’s no secret Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are madly in love — but the country superstar is also head over heels for her three sons.

“For a long time, it was awkward trying to figure out what my place is and in their mind too,” newly crowned Sexiest Man Alive Shelton tells PEOPLE exclusively about the rocker’s three sons Kingston, 11, Zuma, 9, and Apollo, 3 (with ex Gavin Rossdale). “The best part for me, selfishly, is discovering a part of myself that I guess I never really knew was in there. It’s definitely an instinct that kind of kicks in.”

There’s no shortage of energy with the three boys running around at home, and “there’s days where you go, ‘Oh my God, when does school start?'” he jokes.

But that never lasts long.

“An hour later you’re going, ‘God, I can’t wait ’til they get home,'” says Shelton, 41, whose new album Texoma Shore hit No. 1 on the Billboard Top Country Albums chart this week. “They’re so damn funny. It’s just my first time being around it, and it’s easy to fall in love with those kids. They’re pretty special.”

As for his relationship with Stefani, 48, the power couple (who recently teamed up on the song “You Make It Feel Like Christmas” featured on her holiday album) are happier than ever together. Says the star: “It just feels like it gets stronger all the time, you know? It’s crazy.”

Blake Shelton Puts Gwen Stefani 'on a Pedestal' Every Day Because That's What 'She Needs Most in Her Life'

There’s nothing sexier than a guy who adores his girlfriend — just ask Gwen Stefani.

“I try to be a gentleman as much as I can. I think the thing that she needs most in her life is to be put on a pedestal,” newly crowned Sexiest Man Alive Blake Shelton tells PEOPLE exclusively about his girlfriend of two years. “Every day that I’m around her, that’s what my goal is.”

Shelton, 41, and Stefani, 48, started off as friends after meeting on The Voice in 2014, and romance blossomed when they formed an unbreakable bond after going through heartbreak at the same time.

“When you’re where she and I were, and you just feel so betrayed and on bottom, this bond that we formed when we found out what each other were going through, it’s still there,” says Shelton, whose holiday duet “You Make It Feel Like Christmas” with Stefani is featured on her holiday album.

“What’s most important to Gwen is somebody who has her back and is a best friend so that’s kind of how it started. It just feels like it gets stronger all the time,” adds the country star, whose new album Texoma Shore hit No. 1 on Billboard‘s Top Country Albums chart this week.

As two of the busiest stars in the world, it’s no surprise the pair prefer staying in for date night. “Laying in bed and watching a movie, that’s it,” says Shelton. “That is such a coveted, special-like and rare thing for her and me, you know?”

Shelton’s also the first to admit it’s not just the fans who were confused by the pairing of a country king and rock queen. “She and I, on paper, we couldn’t be more different,” he says. “But in life, nothing’s ever worked better for me.”

Blake Shelton Says Gwen Stefani ‘Teases Me About My Age’—And Why He Says No One Should Ever See Him Naked!

It’s easy to tease the ones you love.

Gwen Stefani may have encouraged Blake Shelton to embrace being crowned 2017’s Sexiest Man Alive, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t still give him a hard time

“I’m younger than Gwen,” Shelton tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story. “And lately, things like, I don’t know, gout, and a back going out. Or my knees are constantly bothering me. Those are things she’s like, ‘Aha! How do you like that? You’re 41 now, Blake.’ She teases me about my age.”

When it comes to taking care of himself, Shelton admits it’s a concerted effort.

“I think I like exercising more than I ever have, just because I know that it’s easy for it to get away from me at my age now,” says Shelton, who just released his new album Texoma Shore. “But I’ve never been good at it. You can see pictures of me, it is what it is. I’ll lose a bunch of weight and feel good about it and what do I do when I feel good? I eat. Then next thing you know, some picture comes out of me and I’ve got three chins.”

Out of the spotlight, comfort is key for Shelton, who usually lounges around the housein a t-shirt and Air Jordan shorts (“down to my knees”). Does he ever walk around without any clothes on? “No! Oh Christ, I wouldn’t do that to anybody,” he says. “I wouldn’t want my dog to have to see me naked. It’s like half melted, vanilla ice cream with little hairs stuck to it. That’s what I look like naked.”

And while his fellow Voice judge (and former Sexiest Man Alive) Adam Levineadmitted that he waxes regularly to show off his tattoos, Shelton says there’s no way he could be convinced to manscape. 

“No! I don’t want people to stare at my body so badly that I have to remove hair from it,” he says. “Just saying that out loud is a little ridiculous, isn’t it?”

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