The performance on The Voice was so epic and everybody was talking about it. Were you worried at all about putting out such a vulnerable song at any point?
I think that, like, I had written a bunch of songs before that one. And those ones were a lot angrier and those ones I was scared to put out. Because I just was. I don’t even know, I can’t really go into why, but, like, that one? I felt like it was at a point, y’know, in the writing that was like more of a, like, forgiveness phase. It just felt - No. To answer your question, I did not feel worried at all about putting it out. It felt so right. Like I feel like in my lifetime, like, my journey, my gift, is that, is going through whatever I go through, writing a song and then sharing it. And that’s kind of like what I’m supposed to do. And it’s really healing for me and I know that it’s helped a lot of people as well, and that feels so good. I only know that from just the people that come up to me and tell me. Or I read about on Twitter or whatever. And it’s just true, because in my lifetime, obviously, music is just so powerful, whether it’s, even just, y’know, Hotline Bling. Like that makes me feel so good, you know what I’m sayin’. It makes me feel so good. Or a song that’s about, you know, a painful thing can also make you feel good. I just feel really honored to be part of music at all, and to be a writer and to be able to express myself and have an outlet like that, I’m so blessed. I mean, I don’t know what I would’ve done. It’s what saved me this year, like, writing that record.
Wow. That’s a really powerful thing even to be able to say, you know, after going through something hard. I was watching an interview with Pharrell and he was talking about how one of the things he’s thankful for when it comes to you is that you seem freer than you ever have been in the time he’s known you. And he didn’t even mean creatively; he meant as a person. It sounds like you feel that way.
I agree 100% with him. I’ve always been kind of trapped by situations and, um, I’m not any longer at all. Also, I think that, you know, Pharrell was one of the people in my life that just pointed me in the right direction spiritually. He’s an unbelievable person and we have a musical relationship but, on a personal level, he is so intuitive. He’s so in touch. I remember [that] there was a point where I feel like he told me - Everything that I was about to go through, he had kind of just gone through, and he was like, ‘You can’t let - If anything’s in the way of your journey, you’ve got to let it go and move forward.’ And he just has some incredible advice to give me. And it made a huge gigantic impact on me, and I tell him all the time, like, “You are responsible for a lot of this, how I am right now.” He just doesn’t even take credit but I swear, he is an incredible person. I love him.
And you guys get to be around each other all the time. That’s amazing.
Yeah. Not enough. But we do get to be around each other. I would love to do some more music with him. There just never seems to be any time right now. But he’s a really free person and he just has such a good outlook on everything. Everything has meaning to it, and he’s just - It’s such a good influence to be around someone like that.
You were just talking about when you started writing, it was a lot angrier songs and in Used To Love You, you were at a forgiveness level. How are you not angry?
Well, there’s still - Obviously, I’m human, so I’ll always have that in me, but I think - I mean, I’ve been really exercising my spiritual side, like, a lot in the last few years. And obviously, when you go through something that’s so painful and so traumatic, it forces you to, like, get down on your hands and knees. I think it’s just being in that place. My whole thing right now is like, How can I be - If I can just be grateful, considerate and honor my gift and be respectful to that, like, I’ll just be peaceful and happy. So I just try to exercise that every day, and if you just stay in the moment and you don’t think about, really, the past and the regrets, and you don’t think about what might happen in the future, it’s pretty great.
How does it feel to have the most talked about relationship ever? It’s just Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez and you and that man but I won’t say his name cos I’ll be vague. Like your relationship is like the most talked about right now. Are you like shocked?
What’s shocking to me is, like, if you really, I don’t know - I mean, obviously, everyone has a view of me from their own perspective, you know what I mean. But in my perspective of myself, like, I never saw myself as, like, I’ve never been like a tabloid person. That is so weird to me. I have, I guess cos people want to see my kids grow up and they’re interested in that or whatever, and - But it is very weird. And the weirdest part, for me, is just how it’s crazy how people just make up whatever they want and they put it out there. You’re like, Wow. And even to the point where, like, people who are really close to me will be writing me, going, “Is this true?” You’re like, “What are you talking about!? Like of course it’s not true.” Like, “Mom.” It is so crazy and funny. And I feel like it’s part of having a long career, like, it’s kind of fun and funny to be in this position at this point because I’ve never experienced it. And okay, well, now I get to be, whatever, one of those girls for a second. But it’s funny and a lot of it’s not true and a lot of it is true and a lot of it’s hilarious and a lot of it’s sad. And it is what it is. You know, I feel like I’ve been so lucky to be in the position I have been, to be this normal girl from Anaheim, daughter of Pattie and Dennis, like, growing up, going to Disneyland. And then to just experience all this craziness, I don’t understand. I don’t understand why I got chosen, but I’m honored.
Do you ever get embarrassed because, speaking of social media, my Twitter feed, like, blew up with pictures of when you performed on The Voice - Used To Love You - and that gentleman of a country man stood up and applauded and was losing it. And everyone was like, ‘Look how cute they are.’ Are you ever like, ‘Don’t doooo that. He just likes me, like, this is embarrassing.’ Or does it give you, like, butterflies and feel all cute about it?
Um, the hot cowboy? Let’s see. Um, I don’t know. I mean, it’s hard to, like, believe anything that’s going on in my life right now. Everything’s so extreme and everything changed so quickly. Like overnight. That part is like - What else - It’s like arrgh, I’m tongue-twisted right now. I don’t like talking about it because it feels like - Yes, you asked me if I’m embarrassed sometimes. Yes. Because I feel so exposed, you know what I mean. But, um, at the same time, like, I’m so grateful for that friendship and a lot of the friendships that have saved me through this year. I mean, it’s unbelievable, like, what it takes to get through stuff. And the people that have come and helped me, like, just everyone, like there’s so many people that I’m so grateful for.
God, I love a good hot cowboy, though, sister. Preach the good news.