Cosmo Girl (August 2000)
Gwen Stefani
The diva from No Doubt puts her soul into her music. Here’s what’s behind those amazing lyrics.
Onstage, Gwen Stefani is a total glamazon and a serious moshing machine. But out of the spotlight, she’s just a girl- which means that, like every other girl, she knows what it’s like to feel jealous, insecure, confused… and totally in love. Gwen shares some of the experiences and ideas that inspired the very personal songs on No Doubt’s new album.
On our last record, I finally realized that I had a skill – I could use songwriting as an outlet for whatever I was going through at the time. On Return of Saturn, everything’s about the last couple years of my life. A lot of the songs are about sad times; writing about them makes me feel a lot better – it’s like I got something good out of something bad. My writing talks about exactly how I feel. This is me. This is my life.
Such a cute girl/I’m so jealous/ I wish I looked exactly like her – “Staring Problem”
Everyone has insecurities. I certainly do! If you read my lyrics, you can see loads of things I have problems with. When girls come up to me at shows and they’re like, you’re re so beautiful!” or “You’re so inspiring I’m always like, “God, if you only I’m just like you! l’ve been through everything you’re going through, they think I don’t have bad days or fat days, but of course I do. Like most people, I have to check on my weight every day. In fact, I wouId like all the girls who see my picture in CosmoGlRL! – with the professional lighting and makeup – to know: None of the pants fit! They were all too small!
A girl in the world barking up the wrong tree/A creature conditioned to employ matrimony – “Marry Me”
I’ve always been pretty traditional. When I was in kindergarten and someone ask me what I was going to be, I drew a bride. And I always played Barbies with the idea of being a wife and having children. I was conditioned to believe marriage is a career. You always wonder who’s going to be the one to marry you. You think, ‘Have I met him? Is this the guy?” I still look forward to having a family, but now I know that’s just one side of me. Still, sometimes I think about how self-centered I am. I mean, my band is my family, but it’s also about me, me, me. I’m praying that having children in the future will save me from my vanity.
Your wildness scares me…/ You say you can’t stand the restrictions/ I find myself trying to change you – “Ex-Girlfriend”
We girls want to cuddle up to somebody and try to see if we can help them in some way. Most of the time it isn’t good for us. I don’t think you can change someone, and I don’t think you should try. But I always try! I’m pretty crazy in my relationships. But I don’t know – I’ve had only two real ones: Tony [Kanal, No Doubt’s bassist] and Gavin [Rossdale, from Bush]. My relationship with Gavin is my first adult relationship. We e-mail each other love letters every day. He gets me out of my self-absorption. ‘Cause usually I’m like, “Go, go, go! The energy! The band!” Gavin balances me out and brings me down to earth. When I’m with him I realize that I need that other person to share daily things with. Like during the CosmoGirl! shoot he called me and I was crying, “Oh, my pants aren’t fitting me!” and he was like, “You know what? You always look good.” I like the intensity of being with someone for a while and feeling so comfortable we can talk about anything. It’s hard to get to that point, you know?
I’m so ashamed, I’ve been so mean/ I don’t know how it got to this point/ I always the one with all the love – “Simple Kind of Life”
You know how sometimes where you’re really honest with other people and you speak your mind, it can come off as being mean? With my boyfriend, I need to be completely honest at all times, because otherwise I’d be lying to him about how I really feel. I don’t know why, but when you love someone and know them well, you tend to be hardest on that person. You should be the nicest and sweetest, but there’s a lot of times when you use them as a punching bag because you know they’re the one person you can trust to be there for you, even if you’re being a really big jerk.
So why do we choose the boys that are naughty?/ I know I can’t tame you. ..but I just keep trying./ Why do the good girls always want the bad boys? – “Bathwater”
I was always a really good girl. In high school, my best friend and I didn’t drink or do drugs; we weren’t into that scene. Then all of a sudden she started partying and doing things with guys, and it was pretty hurtful to me because it was like she was moving ahead of me; she was on a different level. It was a shock – I felt like I was being abandoned. Later, I went out with a really bad boy who was always getting in trouble. I played piccolo in marching band, and my bandleader didn’t like my boyfriend. He told me, Gwen you’re walking a fine line.” I was like, ‘What are you talking about?” But after high school, that guy actually got really bad. It’s weird – you always have these guys who are like the sweetest guys and they’re always doing stuff for you, but you don’t want to go out with them.
I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend/ I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them/ And you know it makes me sick to be on that list – “Ex-Girlfriend”
When you fall in love, some kind of weird chemical thing happens that makes you believe that no one else in the world is more connected than you two are. It’s human nature to want to be unique, so the idea that your boyfriend might have had other girlfriends before you is sickening. You don’t want him to have loved anyone as intensely as he loves you. His past history can make you uncomfortable. It’s like, “You were hanging out with someone else? How dare you!” But whenever you date someone, then obviously for the rest of their lives they’ll be able to go, “Well, I went out with this person, this person, this person, this person, and then there was Gwen, and then this person, this person .. .“ The jealousy part of life can totally take over, so you have to try to have control over it. But it’s difficult: I still have problems with jealousy.
So many different faces/ Depending on the different phases/My personality changes – “Magic’s in the Makeup”
That song started out as words in my journal. It’s not literally about makeup – although that can be magic – it’s about trying to find the real Gwen. Which one is the best one, the good person? It’s about the different faces we all have and how certain people bring out certain things in you. Like maybe you and your hairdresser, for whatever reason, cannot stop talking. You just have everything to say to each other. But then you meet someone you kind of admire or have a crush on, and suddenly you don’t know how to speak and you can’t act like yourself! It’s good to know that everyone does that. I mean, I have so many sides. When I’m around Tony, I’m a totally different girl, because he’s a boy I’ve known for 13 years and he’s my best friend and we like to get silly with each other. And when I talk to my boyfriend, I turn into a real girly girl. There are just different faces that you show, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that!
A lot of times, a song says more to you after you’ve written it than when you’re actually writing it, because suddenly you see all these themes. I love that. I wrote this album because I needed to figure some stuff out, and I definitely feel lighter and clearer than I’ve ever been before.